I’m back! I’d explain the extremely long hiatus from posting but there’s no point. All I can say, is maybe my brain turned to mush while doing this and therefore had to stop. Also, actually, if I remember that far back, I got really tired of wordpress being weird, and I got frustrated and gave up. I was at my sister’s place this past weekend and she mentioned the blog and I visited back and I realized I missed it, so while I deal with work and school and all that fun stuff, I am back to my blog because everyone always comes crawling back to Sweet Valley. Also, getting stills from the actual TV show became really tedious, so I can’t promise that I’ll keep up with that either (maybe just the really good moments).

So on to the recap! This book is loosely based on the series book by the same name. The book, however, had an alarmingly high dosage of Bruce Patman, who of course is altogether eliminated from this episode. He was probably busy at a doctors appointment during the hour it must have taken to film this episode… AND HERE WE GO.

This episode begins with our less favorite twin, Ms Elizabeth Wakefield making out with tool-like boyfriend Todd Wilkins in a car in front of the sprawling, Spanish-tiled Wakefield house. Just as a side note, Spanish tiles look like the following:

I don’t see anything nice about this. I think they’re tacky. I don’t care if they live in Southern California, these tiles are just plain ugly.

Anywho, I digress; back to the episode.

So, they’re making out in front of the house, and Todd’s all pissy because Liz has to go inside for her curfew. I’m not positive for whose benefit this curfew is for since their parents are NEVER EVER home, but Liz is still rushing. Anyway, so Todd’s bitching, and Liz is all, “wellll, *wink*wink*, my parents are going out of town this weekend”, and what a coincidence, so are Todd’s AND he has to go stay with his cousins as his house is being painted or fumigated or something that makes him unable to crash at Winston’s for a weekend. And then, I don’t get this, but Liz is all kinda pissed of because she thought the two of them would be hanging out, but wtf!? you have a curfew! Well, whatever, Todd comes up with this brilliant plan to move in with Liz for the weekend and not tell her parents (well, obviously, I mean there’s really no one to tell. Todd could just live there forever, and it wouldn’t change a thing).

Cut to school. Lila and some dude named Morgan (A.J. Morgan??) are talking about tickets that they thought Lila could get but she didn’t. Maybe her dad isn’t cast either so he can’t buy her all this crap, but apparently it’s okay because Winston always has tickets. Of course our constantly-scheming twin Jessica overhears this by the lockers, and this look immediately crosses her face (as it must at least once every episode).  Jessica then walks over to Winston and asks him if he still has the SoundGarden tickets (Savage Garden?!) and states that she wants to go and Winston stupidly thinks with him, but really she just wants to buy them to steal Morgan Gathers (so not A.J.)  away from Lila. Ever conscious Liz is just a couple lockers down and points this out. Oh well, whatever.

Jessica goes to Todd and Morgan, and she tells Todd to go away so she can talk to Morgan. Jessica tells him that Lila got the tickets that he was waiting for — to Swan Lake. Morgan being a man of no taste, gets all flustered and agrees to go with Jessica to the concert instead. Honestly. These two have such a ridiculous friendship. Whyyyy have friends like this?!

Back at the Wakefield house, Todd has brought his duffel bag to Liz’s house. Jessica comes strolling in with some ugly huge button down shirts to wear on her date and interrupting Todd and Liz smooching in the living room. Liz runs after Jess who finds a pair of Calvin Klein boxers in Todd’s bag, and begs her not to tell their parents. Jessica predictably and innocently says she won’t tell the parents, ………………………….wait for it………………………………….. as long as Liz doesn’t tell them about the party she plans on having. Liz crumbles and agrees to a small gathering, andddd Jessica manages to get the emergency credit card to buy a dress.

I must upload this simply because of the awful outfits. Liz’s purple and khaki, Todd’s tucked in blue shirt and khakis. So freakin boring.

Cut to a montage of Liz and Todd in the grocery store, YAY! Hmm, in short, they both ride the shopping cart, they both knock over cans of food, Liz picks up boring healthy shit, Todd picks up junk food which Liz promptly takes out of the cart, they knock over a fruit display, Todd balances a case of soda on his head, Todd juggles potatoes, Todd loses Elizabeth in one of the aisles, they play basketball with a soccer ball, Todd rams a cart rights into a stand of cookies or something, Todd gives Liz flowers which he doesn’t actually purchase for her. So typical. They go to check out, and Liz doesn’t have enough money, and asks Todd who has nothing to offer her. So basically, he buys all this shit and has no way of contributing to the purchases. What a catch!! Well that scene just ends there, who knows what they gave up so they could afford it.

Cut back to the house where Todd has surprise Liz by cooking dinner, which is actually kinda cute because he set up the table for two all romantic and nice.  Todd looks so proud of himself. It appears he has steamed carrots, steamed beans, a bun, and what I assume is a burger? steak? he threw into the oven – he saw them make this in Kathy Lee and Regis… again, why do you need to be shown how to steam vegetables?! Anyway, how Todd manages to make these simple things create the look of disgust that Liz gets after trying this food is just shocking. But honestly, just eat it, you stupid girl, it’s Todd. you’re used to sub-par everything, and chances are he’ll never get better so just get used to it!! Anyway.. Liz exclaims bitchily “I can’t eat this!” UGH. Todd gets all defensive and says “fine, don’t” These two are so mature. And then there’s the silent treatment for both of them until Jessica walks in wondering about the darkness and leaving with a warning to not do anything she wouldn’t do. Todd says “well there’s no chance of that.” Now, I’m not sure, is he referring to Jessica’s want to have a good time always, or Jessica’s whorish-ness, I don’t know.

Cut to Liz and Todd on the couch with their champagne flutes of grape juice. They try to watch TV like an old married couple and Todd finds a basketball game and goes on to ignore Liz who leaves and goes upstairs.

In the middle of the night, which OMG, this would infuriate me: Todd who is sleeping on the couch, gets up and starts bouncing a freakin basketball. WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH THIS KID. His parents should have left him in the house being repainted since he clearly has no brain cells to lose. He goes to the fridge and drinks some milk from the carton, NICE. Liz comes in, motherly as usual and takes his basketball. Ha, no basketball for you sucka – oh and hands him a glass.

Yay first half over, and it wasn’t THAT awful to get through.

Onwards. Jessica is talking to Lila about the party and it having to be a small gathering, and Lila is handing out flyers to everyone outside the doors of the Moon Beach. Is it just me, or would our beloved Lila Fowler, NEVER hand out flyers for anything, anywhere AND at the very least have some sort of screening process for a party she appears to be co-hosting?!

Anyway, cut to Todd, sitting shirtless (ew) on the Wakefield couch, going through the paper looking for the sports section. Liz comes down the stairs and Todd furiously questions the whereabouts of the newspaper. Ohhh, Liz threw it out with the coffee grounds. Ok, now I know she’s annoyed and I get that, coz I get like sometimes too, and this would annoy me too I’m sure if my boyfriend came to stay with me and we had very limited time together and he chose to watch sports, but EVEN STILL, given how much he loves it, and knowing that it couldn’t possibly take more than a couple of hours to go through the Sports section, she really could have just left it for him. There’s no way there was NO OTHER SECTION that the coffee grounds could have been thrown out in. Whatever, Liz states that he watched 57 hours of sports yesterday! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, SWEET VALLEY GETS 33 EXTRA HOURS PER DAY!!!!!! Ugh, I know its too stupid to even snark on, but REALLY, it just annoys me. Anyhow, Jessica comes in being her wonderful self, making fun of the lover’s quarrel going on, and something about scolding Todd into acting like a human.

YAY PARTY TIME. Jessica walks into Liz’s room, with a rather nice dress on, but it’s really long. Seems like a kind of a weird party dress where they’ll be serving chips and dip, oh and it was $200. Liz is wearing jeans, a ratty looking long sleeved green top and a white vest over. EW. She goes on to complain about Toddy. Jessica leaves to get the door, and Liz asks the important question of why Lila is being such a big help after Jessica stole her boyfriend. Interesting, of course Jessica doesn’t really stop to think that there might be a hidden incentive for all this help she’s receiving.

Anyway, Todd comes into the room as Jess is leaving and tells Liz they need to spend some time alone to make up for the weekend. Liz says her famous “I guess I can trust Jessica” line and they kiss. This kiss is interupted with a look of anger and parental annoyance because of loud music. Why don’t these two ever act their age. There is such a thing as crossing the line of over-responsibility when you’re 16! Downstairs at the party, Jessica is shocked at the number of people, and Lila fills her in on the plan by making a snide comment to the date-stealing that went on a little earlier. Morgan comes by and Jess and him walk away leaving Lila staring angrily after them.  and oooh, look at that, Liz blames TODD for this. WHY?! WHYYYYY?! THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. Liz and Todd go downstairs and the place is packed and Liz is about to have a panic attack. She tells Todd basically that the weekend sucked, and Todd assumes it’s his fault, which is kinda is. He states that he knows when he’s not wanted and says he’s going to go and pack his things.

Ooh and here’s the big problem of this episode: Winston does a lame balancing on a chair trick TWICE, and on the second one he (in slow motion) falls taking down Lila, Moragan, and Todd with him, oh and there’s Jessica behind them with a tray of veggies and dip, and of course the dip falls all over her brand new, needs to be returned dress.This is by far my favorite part of the entire episode: after Jessica screams out “my dress” – Liz looks to Todd and says “now look what you’ve done!” – HAHAHA. What the hell did he do?! He was not carrying the tray, he wasn’t wearing the 200$ dress paid for by an emergency card she was partly responsilbe for, he didn’t try to balance stupidly on a chair… whyyyy is she mad at him?!

Guess that killed the party coz the next scene is Liz on her bed and Todd knocking on the door. They talk and Liz basically blames Todd for an awful weekend, he brings up the meal he cooked and she hated, Liz wants to stop talking about it, of course she does, coz he’s almost right. Anyway, Jessica bursts into the room with her dress and exclaims how it’s ruined and how she won’t be able to return it. Sucks to be you Jess, but I mean you were going to commit some sort of crime I’m sure. Jessica being the colossal bitch that she is, and Liz being the doormat she is, gets blamed for the 200$ on the credit card, because LIZ was the one responsible for the card and LIZ gave the card to Jessica, so JESS is in no way to be blamed for this situation. It sucks, but it’s also a little bit funny. Todd is in the background, looking shocked at how ridiculous Jess is being (and you’re going to marry that 10 years later!!! Congrats!). He vows to helps Liz get out of this mess.

Cut to Jessica getting ready for the concert. She’s searching for her tickets and runs down to T+E sitting calmly on the couch.Liz informs her that she sold the tickets to pay off the credit card, which I think was a VERY GOOD idea. A+ on that Liz. Jess vows to never talk to Liz again, we’ll see about that. Here’s the best part, they sold the tickets to Lila!! who comes by to snidely thank Jess for them, and tells Jessica she’s going with Morgan! Wow, one way or another Morgan got to go to this concert! I love that the rivalry between these girls is more important than their self respect,coz really Lila?? He ditched you in a heartbeat to go with Jess… and you’re just gonna let him play you like that?! Gawd. Liz and Todd stand awkwardly and self-righteously on either side of Jessica like her parents which she definitely needs. Jessica’s bitter about not being able to go to the concert, and Liz tells her it’s okay because there’s someone else she can go with. Of course, the boy they always use: Mr. Winston Egbert comes driving by in his orange beetle. Jessica looks disgusted but of course she still goes. Poor Winston, I wish he’d stand up for himself in these types of situations AND HE BROUGHT HER FLOWERS. Jessica goes and takes one of the tickets out of his hand and decides to go alone, and Winston just goes along with this and hops back into his car. She tries to get the keys from Liz, but apparently the Jeep is out of gas. So, Jessica runs behind Winston’s car, hoping to get a ride.

Cut to just T+E together and they have a relationship talk and they apologize for the crap they did. The episode ends with them making out and her parents coming home, and them freaking out. We never see the parents, so I can assume she threw Todd out the window and all ended well.

It’s good to be back.


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